oh dear

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 Does anyone have any jokes? I seriously need cheering up... No? Okay well hows about some whiskey or other strong spirit? Any pixies around? HAHA, d'ya get it?!?! No? Well that's because it's not fucking funny.

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Have no fear! Lockhart is here!

Hola! How does dear England fare? All still alive? Professor Mchafferty? You wouldn't believe how much I've missed our conversations about your studies of Ancient Runes. How's that book of yours coming along? If you need any more help, don't hesitate to ask.

Well my friends, I have some good news for you. Fabulous Fabulas has agreed to publish my second book; Travels with Trolls. Watch this space ladies and gentlemen. Very soon, I may well provide you with a very brief preview of the wonders to come. I am currently resting from my most recent excapades in a health spa in Southern France, but don't you worry, I'm be back, in no time. 


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wellhellothere

Au Revoir

Britannia, Britannia, what devils roam your gentle hills! Mystery surrounds this broken Island. Are we to fear the masked ones? Or those who style themselves, our protectors? My great people, alas that I must leave you in your time of need. Yet fear not, for ne'er strife nor conquest could stay me from your side once free to join you. The pleading calls of a distant land draw me away but I shall return anon, with Tales of Horror and great deeds.
Loyal friends, keep your patience for but a while, and you shall be richly rewarded. Remember good people, to watch the shelves, for another instalment of my bounteous travels!


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Following instructions.

So, how is everyone? 
Did you hear in The Prophet, about the release of that poor Jugson boy? Sounds like he's been falsely accused to me. But then, he might not be free for much longer eh? What with those Order lot sculking about. You never know, tomorrow he might be found dead, in a tree or some such place. Dreadful. Absolutely dreadful isn't it? Who knows what attrocities these Order people are capable of! Maybe these so called Death Eaters, are actually quite innocent! Maybe this 'Order' is the one which is perpetrating all of these crimes? If you ask me, those are the ones The Ministry ought to be concentrating on. A rabble of vigilantees by the looks of it! Wolves in Sheeps clothing if you catch my drift. Honestly, what is the world coming to. Order, if you're out there, shame on you. SHAME on you.

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Rita darling, how are things going? Haven't heard from you in an AGE!
wellhellothere

SUCCESS.

 Holidays with Hags has been one of the most eagerly awaited books of the season (not, admittedly, that there have been that many) and I'm glad to report, that this enthusiasm will not go unrewarded. Gilderoy Lockhart's first novel will delight your adventurous side, and you will probably pick up some self defence tips too! At times it can be hard to believe that the incredibly young, and dashing author of this book did in fact manage to face such a foe and come away unscathed. But, the truth is the truth and Mr. Lockhart's exploits will certainly have you begging for more...continued on pg6 (Gloria Sedgewick)

That, is an extract from Witch Weekly's review of My novel. The launch was a fabuluos success, and Rita, I must thankyou for introducing me to Gloria. She's absolutely delightful.

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The launch

 So, the launch is in 2 days time, as long as the current situation doesn't prevent it. I hope to see you all there. There's to be champagne and a few nibbles, and naturally, I'll be signing copies for anyone who does come. Fabulous Fabulas will be sending their representative Miranda Dawkins, and any budding writers, you may wish to come along and have a word Professor McHaferty, I'm looking at you.


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Guess who's back

 And how are we all doing over in little old England. Everyone's well I trust. Got the impression there was some sort of...trouble. Well, never fear, I'm on my way! 

Yes, the book is finished. Fabulous Fabulas has agreed to publish it, so keep your eyes peeled my darlings. It will arriving on your shelves, in no time at all. You don't have long to wait!


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Hi

 So how are you chicken's faring? Hows the weather? It's sunny here. Very sunny. 

Writing is tiring work. I'm not using my lovely Peacock feather quill at the moment, in case it gets hurt by all the scribbling that's going on here in this rather lavish hotel room. I decided to get away from those horrid country hovels and find a proper city. Travelling is definately over rated.
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Holidaying

Greetings from the fabulously extravegant hotels of Bulgaria! I'm practically in Turkey would you believe it. People here have rather funny accents, and as you might expect a complete lack of Fashion. Would you believe it? They haven't even heard of Lissa Van Hooijdonk! 

I've been having the most exciting adventures here. The other week, I was introduced to a young Baron, who goes by the name of Farington Danaledge. Whether or not that is indeed his true name (for it sounds too ridiculous to be real) remains yet to be discovered. We met in a small inn on the edges of Krusticov, a small town near the Turkish Border. I was floundering in a dark corner, completely at the mercy of a towering Bulagarian woman, who was convinced that I was her Prince Charming come to sweep her off her feet and carry her off to some far distant French Castle. The young Baron came galantly to my rescue and with a rarely displayed gesture of friendship in these greedy times, offered to buy me a drink. I hardly need hint that my aquaintance with the Baron has led me into some hair-raising situations.

In fact, I have decided to write a book about it. And I've even devised the title. Holidays with Hags. Watch Flourish and Blotts over the next few months, my time has come.


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